Thursday, May 26, 2011

How to Make a Million Dollars Writing a Book

Inspiring Me Today: The Over-Ambitious

So, you've heard about all these people writing books? Just sit and type, and out comes a paper-bound money maker. But how do you start?

Ready to rake in the cash? Let me tell you how to make a million dollars writing a book.

  1. Come up with a stellar novel idea. Vampires and Mermaids are hot right now. So are ghosts and love stories. Ok, so, a vampire mermaid falls in love with a ghost! Awesome! Step one done!
  2. Now, go to a Starbucks and write the book. Get a Starbucks credit card to pay for all the mochas you buy.
  3. Get an agent to fall in love with your vampermaid love story. This is the easy part.
  4. Now, the agent gets a publisher to fall in love with it too. The agent sells the book for a low 5-figure advance. Hooray! The advance will almost pay off the Starbucks card!
  5. By some tragic statement about the tastes of today's youth miracle, you just pay through the advance. Now, time to write Vampermaid 2!
  6. Go back to Starbucks and pull that credit card back out. 
  7. Sit down with your PC and piping hot mocha, and perpare to write.
  8. The person next to you asks what you're doing.
  9. You tell them who you're the author of VAMPERMAID, and say that you're writing book 2. Maybe they want an autograph.
  10. The person says, "Hmm... Never heard of you."
  11. A little irritated, you accidentally hit your cup and spill mocha all over you and your computer.
  12. Sue Starbucks for medical bills, damages to your computer, and pain and suffering.
  13. Win million dollar settlement with Starbucks.
  14. Congratulations! You've just made a million dollars writing a novel!
So there you go. Just follow those easy steps, and you're on your way to riches!
Post a Comment