So, you've heard about all these people writing books? Just sit and type, and out comes a paper-bound money maker. But how do you start?
Ready to rake in the cash? Let me tell you how to make a million dollars writing a book.
- Come up with a stellar novel idea. Vampires and Mermaids are hot right now. So are ghosts and love stories. Ok, so, a vampire mermaid falls in love with a ghost! Awesome! Step one done!
- Now, go to a Starbucks and write the book. Get a Starbucks credit card to pay for all the mochas you buy.
- Get an agent to fall in love with your vampermaid love story. This is the easy part.
- Now, the agent gets a publisher to fall in love with it too. The agent sells the book for a low 5-figure advance. Hooray! The advance will almost pay off the Starbucks card!
- By some
tragic statement about the tastes of today's youthmiracle, you just pay through the advance. Now, time to write Vampermaid 2!
- Go back to Starbucks and pull that credit card back out.
- Sit down with your PC and piping hot mocha, and perpare to write.
- The person next to you asks what you're doing.
- You tell them who you're the author of VAMPERMAID, and say that you're writing book 2. Maybe they want an autograph.
- The person says, "Hmm... Never heard of you."
- A little irritated, you accidentally hit your cup and spill mocha all over you and your computer.
- Sue Starbucks for medical bills, damages to your computer, and pain and suffering.
- Win million dollar settlement with Starbucks.
- Congratulations! You've just made a million dollars writing a novel!